Creatively Corrupted!

.. And watch it go right to your thighs.

I'm sitting here, chillin' with Chelsea. Nothing much is really new, we are going to watch a few movies later; she's staying the night seeing as I don't go to school anymore. That? Oh.. I'm taking 'Correspondence.' At least that's what I want to do. After March break I will go in and set some stuff up with the guidance councilor and get my courses in session. Correspondence is sort of like home-schooling, only there is no parent teaching you. You get assignments, you complete them, you send them in.

It's something I'm more comfortable with.

I have social anxiety, it's beyond shyness, which is hard to convince to some people. I'm not begging people to understand me but sometimes there's just no way to explain how I'm feeling. It feels as if there is a void to my emotions and reality; I just cannot explain it. There are no words that can fit into how I feel. These feelings result in mood-swings and I can make a lot of people unhappy out of my own frustration of them not understanding.

Recently I have tried to turn to god, but it's really hard for me.. After years of being exposed to hard evidence and theories that make sense. It's just difficult to turn to something that you are not sure exists. When I was younger, I believed in god. I was happy. But was I happy because I was young? Or was I just happy because I had faith in someone powerful. It's also very difficult to believe in and love someone/something that sees homosexuality as a sin. I'm not going to put up with that.

I had a long discussion with John about this, he's a friend of mine. We met over Warcraft but we chat a lot over Facebook about religion and his beliefs. He told me that homosexuality is a sin, but so is lust, and all humans lust. I can't change myself, I will always be Bisexual. It's who I am, and I'm certainly proud for what I am. I like girls, I like boys. I'm happy with that. There will never be a god in my heart that sees homosexuality being a sin.

I suppose this means that I will never have a religion, a lot of the things I do are not compatible to many religions. There's just too much that I am not willing to change about myself. Love thy neighbor.. My neighbors steal from our garden in our backyard.

So without further-ado.. It's time to go do some chores, eat dinner, get lazy, watch movies, and such. Sounds like a party? I know.