Creatively Corrupted!

Search 'Stoner' on urbandictionary.com and you will find 118 definitions.

"Slang for somebody who smokes cannabis, often. Most people would talk them down as if they are better, though they often consume poisons such as alcohol and caffeine. Stoners are generally a friendly minority, peaceful, and harmless. The arrogant people bitching about them smoking marijuana, they are usually bigger problems then the people they denounce."

Harmless, peaceful.. What better person could be like this? All drugs aside, stoners, I have found are a lovely bunch. I'm one of them. At least I want to be one. Is it odd to have an ambition that balances wealth, jobs, families, and weed? I grew up in a small village. Falmouth. The rich lived here. The perfect families that aspired to be doctors, firefighters, police, and teachers. Drugs were taboo. There's no doubt that drugs and alcohol were consumed under the beautiful lace cloth that hugged every citizen of our town. Across the river is Windsor. It's small, but it holds the 'downtown' to all drugs under the sun. You name it, you can find it in Windsor. There are run-down houses, small businesses, and plenty of dollar stores. It's a shit town, but as of now, there is still a few pieces of it's security blanket. You can look outside and see green grass and flowers. Although it is run-down, and some areas have seen better days, it isn't as corrupt as I'd like to imagine.

Windsor let's you live on your feet. There's always that small bit in the back of your brain that is crying for panic. For some reason, I want something major to happen. Just so I could talk about it. I just want that conversation. There is no doubt that someday Windsor will be corrupt. It's slowly falling apart. Falmouth still exists, it's as quiet and perfect as I left it. I moved to Windsor when I was thirteen years old. When my family packed up and crossed the river, my life changed. Violence, drugs, hate, and crime. That was my reality. I love living on the edge.

Right now, in my life, I am going through an experimentation phase. I want to try any and everything. I want my trial and error to be almost 'perfect.' It's played out in my mind and I know how I want it to be. I don't want it to be with certain people. I don't want to be baby-sat. It's a major buzz-kill for me. There are just some people I don't like getting high with. They make me uncomfortable, they make a third-wheel, they just.. Don't justify their reason for being there. All quarrels aside, I'm a tad bit afraid of meeting new people. I just want someone to embrace me as a friend. Someone who isn't afraid of taking my hand and leading me down a path of drugs, but letting me find my own limit. If I die, I die. If I panic, I panic.

But that's in my utopia, not reality.
Another dream..
Going...
Going..
Gone.

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I'd also like to mention that this is my one and only post that will ever mention marijuana. Please feel free to kick me if I mention it, ever. I, in no way, incourage anyone to smoke and/or cook with marijuana. It has been proven safer than alcohol, but just like alcohol, never EVER operate a vehicle or machinery while under it's mesmerizing affects. I smoke marijuana purely on my own and my close friend(s) never have I gone public about it. There is a reason only a select few people are given a link to my blog. I use Marijuana to help me open up socially and creatively. I use it to help with my insomnia. I don't suffer in my lonesome anymore, I apologize that it is against the law.

I could be doing much worse. I work and I'm finishing school, like a good little girl.
: )